I attended the e-women (entrepreneurial women) national conference last week in Dallas and was inspired by so many great thought leaders. One speaker in particular, Lisa Nicols, said something that has stuck with me. I have been sitting with it a couple of days trying to figure out why it has landed so hard and I am not sure how I feel about it. I have finally decided how I feel and I wanted to blog about it and share it with you. So, Lisa was giving an inspiring day long lecture and she told us that her grandma use to say to her…
“Honey, other people’s perception of you is none of your business.”
I loved it at the time and wrote it down in my journal and underlined it many times…but I am split between my love and disbelief in it. My love for this statement comes from a therapeutic place. As many of you know, I believe in
- healthy detachment
- self care
I believe in understanding and knowing yourself in a deep way so that you can navigate through the world a more confident person. “Other people’s perception of me is none of my business” allows for freedom to be who you are, feel how you need and want to feel without pressure from anyone else. Deep personal growth can come in the form of differentiation; staying confident in who you are and what you believe WHILE maintaining a close relationship with that other person. Most people struggle with this and instead just work on the detachment peace and not on the attunement piece which leads me to my own conflicting thought on this quote.
Going through life without being in relationship to others can be dangerous. Asking how you affect other people is a VERY powerful lesson for EVERYONE. Our intentions can be misunderstood and hurt others, if we do not ask how something has “landed” on someone else it can be damaging beyond repair. We must be bold enough at time to ask those around us “What do you think of me”, “How do I affect you”, “Have I hurt you”? That takes courage and confidence. This is true in all personal relationships; friendships, families, work relationships, clients, children and of course or significant others. We must at time take stock in HOW people perceive us, there can be amazing growth in possibly hearing something tough.
So, I continue my love/disbelief in this quote from Lisa. It sure has gotten my juices turning and for that, I am thankful! What do you think? I would love to hear from you.
Until next time…..