This is one of the most controversial, fascinating and misunderstood aspects of Type and of course, I want to talk about it!
In this Myers Briggs pairing we are discussing our personal preference for how we make decisions and come to conclusions, we each have a preference, either for Feeling or Thinking.
In my workshops and individual work with clients I often hear thinking women report they feel misunderstood or other women “don’t get them” or think they are “bitches”. There is often a reason for that and it lies in our innate personality types.
I love to do this work for a number of reasons, but one of the main reasons is to help depathologize people and give a language and framework to why we are the way we are. I like to call this discovering their Innateness and Greatness.
By definition Thinking Types, men and women, use their Myers Briggs Thinking preference to make decision and come to conclusions using:
• Analysis
• Being objective
•Logic
•Impersonal
•Critique
•Reason
•Criteria
This is often referred to as making “black and white” decisions. People’s feelings are not a factor when Thinking Types are making decisions as it is for Feeling Types.
Studies show that 66-75% of men have a preference for Thinking over Feeling. (we will revisit these significant stats in another post)
Only 25%-33% of women have a preference for Thinking over feeling. Therefore, around 75% of the female population in western society share the same preference for Feeling and ONLY 25% have a preference for Thinking.
This limited number of women often feel extremely misunderstood, alienated and isolated in their beliefs.
They often feel like men”get them” more than women, as you are learning that is because they share a similar personality preference with 75% of the men in society.
In heterosexual relationships it is likely that most men (75%) are thinkers and most women (75%) are feelers and if you are in one of those relationships you can think of all the misunderstandings you have when trying to make decisions around your house. Your children, homework, in-laws, holiday plans, etc. Thinkers are making those decisions impersonally, without involving feelings at all and Feeling Types are doing the exact opposite, they are considering everyone’s feelings! So now, translate this to women working with women and how the Female Thinking Types can feel left out around other women! They are misunderstood, we then label and given names like “bitch” instead of understanding WHY!
They are not impersonal people, they make impersonal decisions!!!!!
Thinking women are a special and dynamic group and can be used for great value by many of us feeling types. They are fantastic at:
- Making logical, non-emotional decisions
- Seeing the facts of the situation much more clearly
- Able to keep feelings out of important decisions
- Keep a level head in emotionally heated situations
- Giving good, level-headed advice
If you are a women with a preference for thinking this may have “hit home” for you and I would love to hear from you.
Next post will be about the rare Feeling Men!
Jessica, yep, this hits home for me – thank you!
When I am with thinking types, I feel less resonance than when I am with feelers (my type). Learning more about this (from you, actually – your workshop is awesome) has helped me accept others’ styles more readily.
On a personal note, one of my biggest learnings recently has been to embrace my feeling self. Trying to fit my organic, intuitive ways into strutured logic is a straightaway path being stuck ineffective and frankly drained of energy and joy.
Thanks for all you have taught me about type – it has made such a different in my life!
Awesome post. So many of us take other people’s actions to personally, when most of the time it has nothing to do with us and more to do with their situation, personality, style, etc. thank you for bringing forth data and explaination of this important topic!
I see this on teams all the time – and so glad you called ‘it’ out of the corner. Just because women who are the logical thinkers in the room, don’t emote like the rest of team, does not mean they are the B at the table. And just the same, women who emote to degree’s that can be somewhat exasperating, doesn’t mean they aren’t ‘smart’. It just means we process through information differently. I don’t know if we want to build a team with predominantly one over the other – a balance from my perspective is best – and remembering not to Label People on our team is key to our collective success. Great post.
I was working at a school with a group of behaviorally challenged kids. As an NF female, I believed with all my heart and mind that these kids needed to feel safe first; then they would achieve.
All three supervisors were Thinking women and wanted me to behave robotically and use certain phrases. My perception was that they were harassing the kids. I’m guessing their perception was that I was letting the kids get away with murder.
It really did me in working with these 3 thinking females. After about 10 weeks I started having panic attacks. They may not have been bitches, but I totally felt like I was being ‘gaslighted’.