Ep. 11 Do You Need More Variety Than Your Partner?
We have been transitioning from “self” into “other.” Last week’s episode was about understanding your partner’s energy, introversion and extroversion, and understanding how your energy is different than your partner’s. And today we are continuing this relationship conversation and I am going back to my therapy roots, I’m putting my therapy hat on.
I used to love doing couples therapy, I loved high conflict couples. The Sensing and Intuition dichotomy was one of the biggest ones that would come up notoriously and repeatedly in my work as a couple’s therapist as well as in my own relationships.
And today I am going to be highlighting the need for variety. Some of us crave it and some of us, the majority of us…not so much.
Probably more than any of the other dichotomies, this is the one that we misunderstand the most. And we also judge the most. We judge other people. We don’t understand how they don’t see things the way that we see them.
That’s really what this episode is about. I’m digging in deeper about the need for variety and how that can impact relationships. I use some powerful examples from my years as a therapist and from my own personal experiences. These will help you understand that this is who you are innately and then help you understand your partner.
And once we are there, we can communicate with each other so that you can quit pathologizing each other, right? This is what we do, “What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you more like me? Why can’t you do this? Why?”
Let’s just start having open fricking conversations about this as a couple that loves each other instead of, “What’s wrong with you?”
If you are currently married or in a partnership, I urge you more than any other dichotomy to learn about this so that you don’t go down this rabbit hole and make the mistakes that I’ve made in my relationships.
“I’m not going to try to change you and you don’t try to change me.”
I hope that this episode is helpful for you in terms of seeing the different variety of needs within a relationship based on the Sensing and Intuition dichotomy.
I love, love, love sharing this with you, I hope this was helpful and I can wait for next week. People, next week is going to blow your effing mind, so keep listening. Thank you for Front Seat Lifers!
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