Ep. 54 How Do You Decide What to Fight For? – Sara Dean

I have my amazing, thoughtful, kick–ass, brilliant friend Sara Dean with me today. Sara is the creator and mind behind Shameless Mom Academy. We have an INCREDIBLE CONVERSATION about what it’s like to stand up for being a woman in this world. How to have an opinion and a voice without sounding “bitchy.” 

Both of us are PASSIONATE about our messages, and it can get easy these days to get sucked into disagreements or even HOSTILE conversations, online and off, that can lead us down a rabbit-hole. 

We delve into examples that happen to us, and likely to you too every day. Scrolling through social media and getting caught up in a HEATED “DEBATE” over divisive topics is all too common, it’s a slippery slope. Sara and I talk about how to find a middle ground. Too often, if we stand up for our beliefs, we are labeled as “Bitches,” and if we sit back and are accommodating, we’re not doing ourselves or our beliefs justice. 

It’s often about asking yourself, “How can I insert myself into a conversation in a way that is powerful and meaningful. That doesn’t make everyone defensive, but that puts some clear boundaries in place?” 

Sara gives us some wonderful insight and tips on how we can effectively navigate these tricky situations. Because we’ve all been there, where we feel we cannot help ourselves in those kinds of conversations. You want to say something, but also, you don’t want to say it in a way where you’re going to be immediately dismissed because it’s a FLY-OFF-THE-HANDLE-BITCHY-BOSSY comment. 

Sara says, “I’m just conscientious around how I respond. But stay in ALIGNMENT with my CORE VALUES. When I’m going to insert myself into something on social media, I enter the conversation with curiosity and compassion.” 

And we also talk about how these strategies can be useful in other areas of our lives, with our partners, our children, our parents, and friends or colleagues. More and more, we seem to be running into difficult and divisive conversations. 

Sara and I also get into a deep conversation about how important this is when LEADERSHIP is considered. You’ve got to be able to say something and that sense of hesitancy to step up and say something will diminish your role as a leader. And ALL WOMEN ARE LEADERS in different capacities, but many of us don’t identify as such.  

Apologizing or minimizing or saying, “I’m sorry,” when there’s nothing to be sorry about is habitual with many women. If you’re not setting boundaries, not LEANING IN to difficult conversations, or saying things that might not be popular, even in your own home, you’re shrinking. 

People, this is just the tip of the iceberg, there is A TON packed into this episode, and I hope you get some fantastic value out of it. Again, thank you for listening and keeping the conversation going. I appreciate it. 

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For Sara Dean and The Shameless Mom Academy: https://shamelessmom.com/ 

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Book: Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544505779/ 

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